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The following list contains internal links to the sections below:
Chat 1, in which I manipulate a banana: October 15th, 1997
Chat 2, in which I look at my watch: October 17th 1997
Chat 3: in which I sun-bathe. October 24th 1997
Chat 4, in which I blow bubbles: October 29th 1997
Chat 5, in which I observe an aggressor: November 5th 1997
Chat 6, in which I maim someone violently: November 7th 1997
Chat 7, in which I climb into a cupboard: November 12th 1997
Chat 8, in which I make a friend: November 18th 1997
Chat 9, in which I take some illegal drugs: November 27th 1997
Chat 10, in which I am frustrated: December 2nd 1997
(end of list)
Chat 1, in which I manipulate a banana: October 15th 1997
At Club Gabbay:
Bloodwynd: enters the Lobby
Bloodwynd: takes out a banana
Lonewolf says to Bloodwynd: *ducks for cover!*
Bloodwynd: peels the banana and eats it
Bloodwynd: chops the banana peel into little pieces
Bloodwynd: arranges the pieces of peel in a pleasing artistic form
Bloodwynd: takes a picture
Bloodwynd: runs a nervous hand through his thick lustrous hair
Bloodwynd: angrily throws his camera into the fountain
Bloodwynd: adjusts his tie
Bloodwynd: carefully sweeps up the bits of banana peel and puts them in his pocket.
LilBlusher says to Bloodwynd: Do you want someone to talk to? I'm 15. U?
Bloodwynd says to LilBlusher: Me? I'm 21. From Australia.
I started talking to her but then the server died. Isn't that just always the way.
But how about that chat room, hey? I found it very intriguing. Just by existing there and making my presence felt, I got someone to chat to me. Already I'm planning what I'll say next time. Wouldn't it be cool if I could just chat on the internet all day?
Chat 2, in which I look at my watch: October 17th 1997
(I went to the student access room and spent my longest chat-session ever there. It was the usual Gabbay chat at This time I only had to send one non-verbal message
(Bloodwynd: looks at his watch)
before someone started chatting with me. It was someone with the name of Verve-girl, from Missouri. She wants to be a writer when she gets older – I was just mentioning that I write a lot when one of her other friends turned up and she went off to chat with him. Before today I wasn't aware that one can have a private conversation with someone in a chat-room without the other chatters hearing. That explains a lot. Verve-girl didn't say anything more to me until much later when she said "Why are you on the floor?" (in response to my message "Bloodwynd: sits down on the floor"). I replied, "My legs are tired." She said, "In what way are your legs tired?" I answered, "Oh well I have this leg ailment which makes my legs get tired quicker than usual." Meanwhile there was this person named Insanity who was encouraging everyone to talk about sex. He (or she) asked everyone how much they think about sex during the day, first as a group, then individually. I replied "About once a day." Insanity went on to ask if anyone's a virgin here. A few girls said they were. But once again our conversation was cut short by the death of the server. This time it died just as I was typing "Bloodwynd: *wonders if he should admit that he's a virgin*," more's the pity. I like chatting in ClubGabbay – it's a source of unthreatening social contact. I think I should try it again next week. You never know who I might meet.
Chat 3: in which I sun-bathe. October 24th 1997
This time I sent a great deal of non-verbal messages – they were sort of sequential 'cause I was having a virtual sun-bathe in a virtual sun-beam. Very few people were in the chat room and most of them dropped out near the end. One person named Vyvian actually did exchange words with me – we just discussed the weather contrast between Canada and Australia. But he didn't ask me enough questions and at one point I accidentally gave the same response to two of his consecutive messages – that was the end of it. As time went on there were less and less messages being sent and it seemed less likely that anyone would chat with me. Quite a few names were on the list of people present, but they were either keeping quiet or chatting privately. So after a few more non-verbal messages I left.
Chat 4, in which I blow bubbles: October 29th 1997
At ClubGabbay (a chat room created and maintained by Mr. Michael Gabbay)
Bloodwynd: *takes out a sandwich and starts munching on it*
Bloodwynd: *turns green*
Bloodwynd: *starts to feel nauseous*
Bloodwynd: *feels dizzy*
Bloodwynd: *grips his head as if overcome by some great mental anguish*
Bloodwynd: *falls unconscious*
Bloodwynd: *opens his eyes*
Bloodwynd: *sits up suddenly*
Bloodwynd: *stands up and brushes the dust off his clothes*
3rdVampire says to Bloodwynd: Are you okay?
Bloodwynd says to 3rdVampire: What happened? Where am I?
3rdVampire says to Bloodwynd: You had too much to drink and you passed out and now you're in the Lobby.
Bloodwynd says to 3rdVampire: But I didn't drink anything! Oh, it must have been that sandwich I ate. I thought the bread looked mouldy.
3rdVampire says to Bloodwynd: Happens to the best of us.
Aixa: *pours a bottle of detergent into the fountain*
Aixa: *dips a circle of aluminum foil into the soapy water*
Aixa: *starts blowing bubbles*
Bloodwynd: *Tries to catch Aixa's bubbles with his hand, but they keep popping*
Aixa: *Blows a whole lot of bubbles in Bloodwynd's direction*
Bloodwynd: *Looks around at the bubbles with a sense of awe and wonder*
Aixa says to Bloodwynd: Here. Try it. *hands a wand to Bloodwynd*
Bloodwynd: *takes the wand and starts blowing bubbles alongside Aixa*
Aixa: *starts humming*
Bloodwynd: *starts humming in harmony with Aixa*
Aixa says to Bloodwynd: Would you like to climb inside a huge bubble with me and float away?
Bloodwynd: *makes a gesture to indicate that he would like to climb inside a huge bubble*
Aixa says to Bloodwynd: *draws Bloodwynd inside bubble* here we go! *bubble starts to ascend*
Bloodwynd: *looks around with awe* GEE! This is amazing! Those people down there in the chat room look so small!
(Later – after Aixa is gone)
Bloodwynd: *starts having a coughing fit*
Bloodwynd: *controls his cough and has a drink of water*
Mystic says to Bloodwynd: Would you like to chat?
Bloodwynd says to Mystic: Hi, how are you?
Mystic says to Bloodwynd: Fine. You?
Bloodwynd says to Mystic: I'm fine, I'm okay. Where are you from?
Mystic says to Bloodwynd: I'm from Melbourne, Australia.
Bloodwynd says to Mystic: No! Really?? I'm from Melbourne Australia too. Which part are you from?
Mystic says to Bloodwynd: You're kidding? I'm from Croydon. I moved here last year.
Bloodwynd: says to Mystic: I live in St Kilda.
Mystic says to Bloodwynd: I bet St Kilda is a lot more interesting than Croydon.
Bloodwynd says to Mystic: I wouldn't know. It IS interesting though, and it's good 'cause I'm right near the beach.
Mystic says to Bloodwynd: What do you do for fun? How old are you by the way?
Bloodwynd says to Mystic: I'm 21 – I don't do much for fun – I sometimes go to the beach, surf the internet, stay at home. It's not much of a life, but I'm contented with it.
Mystic says to Bloodwynd: Are you one of those introverted people who prefers his own company to the company of other people?
Bloodwynd says to Mystic: I guess I'd have to say that I am one of those introverted people, most of the time.
(No further comment from Mystic.)
(Meanwhile, Guest 127 has arrived – he is an unwanted chatter who swears and insults everyone. He gets booted off several times but keeps coming back.)
Bloodwynd says to Guest 127: If you hate the room so much then why do you keep coming back?
Guest 127 shouts to everyone: F--- YOU ALL! YOU'LL NEVER GET RID OF ME!
Brian says to Guest 127: Hey man, I'm cool with you, tell me how you manage to keep coming back.
Guest 127 shouts to everyone: THIS CHAT ROOM IS F---ED!
Delta says: Will someone boot this guy off?
Darkhorse says: Yeah! What are you doing, Gabbay? Get your act together!
Bloodwynd: *goes over to the piano and starts playing it softly and soothingly in order to calm Guest 127 down*
Brian says to Delta: Put your boots away because no one is booting anyone off.
Bloodwynd: *thinks to himself that Brian would make a good psychiatrist*
Guest 127 shouts to Darkhorse: F--- YOU!
Darkhorse says to Guest 127: No thanks, you're not my type.
Bloodwynd: *plays a bad chord and then gives up his piano career*
Bloodwynd: *paces up and down the room restlessly*
Darkhorse says to Hybrid: *Ha
Hybrid says to everyone: Oh my God! He's frozen!
Darkhorse: *unfreezes and then falls over*
Bloodwynd: *trips over Darkhorse*
Darkhorse says to Hybrid: *pant* It was Gabbay! Avenge my death *wheeze*
Darkhorse: *stands up suddenly*
Darkhorse: *takes out a weapon and stabs Gabbay repeatedly*
Hybrid: Oh no! I can't watch! *covers eyes*
Darkhorse: *keeps stabbing at Gabbay until he is nothing more than a bleeding pulp*
Darkhorse: There! That's done.
Hybrid: Who's going to clean this mess up?
Bloodwynd: *takes out a mop and starts cleaning up Gabbay's mortal remains*
Hybrid: I was wondering when that was going to be done.
Bloodwynd: *Puts away the mop and takes out a damp cloth for the final stage of cleaning*
Bloodwynd: *Buffs the floor to a gleaming finish*
Damaris whispers to Bloodwynd: Do you want to blow some bubbles, or would that mess up your floor? :-) I'm Aixa.
(note: when something is whispered, it can't be heard by the other chatters.)
Delta says to Bloodwynd: Now that you've finished that, how about you clean MY car? *Drives car up*
Bloodwynd: *looks disconsolately at Delta's car*
Bloodwynd whispers to Damaris: Blow bubbles! Forget the floor! The bubbles are more important.
Bloodwynd: *gives Delta's car's headlights a wipe and then decides to leave it*
Delta says to Bloodwynd: Hey! That's not enough! I want my car to be buffed and gleaming like yours!
Bloodwynd: *looks at Delta with frightened eyes and reluctantly starts wiping the bonnet of the car without much enthusiasm*
Damaris: *blows some bubbles over to Bloodwynd to cheer him up*
Delta says to Bloodwynd: Oh noooo – those eyes! Okay forget the car – I'll do it later.
Bloodwynd: *brightens up immediately and sits with Damaris, blowing bubbles cheerfully.*
Delta whispers to Bloodwynd: Bye! Thanks for the ummmmm job you did on my car!
Bloodwynd whispers to Delta: Thanks it's a nice car.
Delta whispers to Bloodwynd: And you're a nice person! Bye bye!
Bloodwynd: *waves goodbye to Damaris and departs the scene, still blowing bubbles.*

Chat 5, in which I observe an aggressor: November 5th 1997
I got onto the Gabbay Chat room and started the chat process. Mystic was there and I spoke with him/her about dental work, and had a simultaneous conversation with some guy about comic books. Later I made friends with a zany chick named MissCute who offered me a blanket to keep out the cold. Then a guy came in carrying a bass guitar and he started virtually playing it, so I played along on a virtual harp, and that went over big. But then an aggressive hacker (I think it was the same on as last week) made his presence felt by insulting everyone and ordering them to suck him. Of course everyone shouted back at him and tried to get rid of him, but for a while it seemed like he was too powerful. Even MissCute lost her cool for a while and blurted out an insulting message at him – I said to her, "Don't let him make you angry, MissCute, it's exactly what he wants," and she replied "Mmm, I know." Meanwhile there was someone logged on as the same name as the aggressive guy, except with a couple of extra asterisks, and they posted messages like "I am an idiot. Please just ignore me." Eventually it seemed like the aggressive guy really had been booted off, but then he came back under a different name. That was when the whole chat-room was taken off-line and I had to leave. I wonder if the aggressive guy will always be there to plague the Wednesday crowd.

Chat 6, in which I maim someone violently: November 7th 1997
I checked out Gabbay chat. As Bloodwynd I typed in some sentences from my "The Spike" book [by Damien Broderick], paying little attention to what the other chatters were saying. Later, after a brief server-crash, I noticed that the aggressive hacker was online. He sometimes calls himself the Jester, but today he was Guest1212 and doing his usual uncreative capital-letter anger outpourings. He likes to play the stupid, sex-crazed lummox. I decided to try something I'd been planning for a long time. With trembling fingers and racing pulse, I re-entered the lobby as Je$trKiLLr. The Jester soon noticed my provocative name and challenged me. My first messages were like this:
Je$trKiLLr: *laughs at Guest1212*
Je$trKiLLr: *laughs at Guest1212. Her laugh echoes around the room, making Guest 1212 slightly uneasy*
Je$trKiLLr: *smiles at Guest1212 with a metallic murderous glint in her eye*
As for what happened next, I won't write it down line for line but let's just say it involved cutting off Guest1212's penis with a rusty knife, carving out a large section of his pubic region, spilling his intestines all over the floor, puncturing his eye with a Swiss army knife, chopping off his legs with a chainsaw, bludgeoning him over the head with one of his legs, feeding his balls to a hungry dog, sticking an ancient samurai sword through his crotch, and carving up his severed penis with a scalpel. Of course he sent messages back to me as well, saying I can't hurt him 'cause he's a supernatural being, telling me to f--- myself, raping me, swinging me around by the scrotum – but I think I came off better in the long run 'cause his insults were coarse and clumsy with typing errors, and mine were refined and precise. I threw in extra humiliating messages, like this:
Je$trKiLLr: *notices that Guest1212's voice has gone all high and squeaky like a girl*
Je$trKiLLr: *holds up Guest1212's penis for all to see* Behold! The world's smallest penis!
Je$trKiLLr: *sits back and smiles triumphantly at Guest1212, hereafter known as 'The man with no penis'*
And sometimes I began my violent posts with "Je$trKiLLr: *ignoring Guest1212's pleas for mercy..." and such. The aggressive hacker didn't quite cotton on to the fact that I was in a female persona, despite my repeated use of the word "her". In retrospect I suppose I should have logged on under a female name like "Ingrid", "Julie", "KittyCat", "BabyGirl", or best of all, "JoniMitchell". Then he would have got slaughtered by a girl. I wonder if my non-verbal style gave me away as Bloodwynd, or if they noticed I entered from the same door that Bloodwynd always uses. I don't think so. Anyway eventually the Jester left. Not humbly of course, not defeated, but the important thing is that he left before me. After that there was a guy named Guest1147 who was a personal friend of Guest1212 [maybe it was the same guy] and he wanted to know why everyone tries to get stuck into him. I gave a comment or two on that, then I left.
Je$trKiLLr: *nods at Guest1147, then goes off to buy some vegetables.*
That was an intense experience. The Netscape logo was glowing red, you know. It was like I was taking a big risk, confronting the guy like that, and I became a different person. You realise I had the whole thing planned out – all the messages had been assembled in my brain beforehand, ready to insult the Jester and adapt to his responses. I'll never do it again – I've used all my best moves. You know the best way to deal with him is to ignore him, or to be nice to him, and that's what I'll do from now on.

Chat 7, in which I climb into a cupboard: November 12th 1997
I actually discovered ANOTHER CHAT ROOM that I can get into, called Café chat. So that's good to know, but I went back to Gabbay chat today because I'm comfortable with the old familiar scene. Today I had a deep personal conversation with a guy named Jordan who was in love with someone named Jessica, and we talked about love and about how I don't have it and how he mistook infatuation for love in the past. He had to leave early though. After that I went through this non-verbal thing where I was writing in a note-book which burst into flames, and nobody talked to me 'cause they thought I was some sort of weirdo who likes to hurt himself. Eventually I got back into the conversation, though, and I felt kind of free to do wacky things. Like at one point I tried to climb into a cupboard, and when I found that the cupboard was occupied I squeezed myself into a narrow gap between the sofa and the wall, for a while. I was on a high tonight, commenting on every little thing. The chat room emptied out a bit towards the end, though, making it difficult to stay interesting.
Chat 8, in which I make a friend: November 18th 1997
Today in the Gabbay chat room I didn't waste much time with the non-verbal messages – I went straight into chatting with people. I met a girl named Kat (with a K) who lives in Sydney and is 17. We talked about the weather and about the fact that I was going to see a play. She said she would be bored tonight 'cause she had no one to talk to. Sounds like a lonely chick. And no wonder – all the time she spent talking privately with me, she was simultaneously shouting spite at every other chat-room member. It was a most unfriendly evening. Our conversation didn't exactly flow perfectly, but she must've liked it because at the end we exchanged email addresses and she said she was waiting impatiently for the next time we can talk together. Her email address is It's a pity my email account is about to expire – looks like I'll lose contact with her as soon as I've found her.
Chat 9, in which I take some illegal drugs: November 27th 1997
I went to the student access room to hang virtually out in the Gabbay chat room. This time I played the weird intoxicated guy – my key comment was "Bloodwynd: *takes some illegal drugs*" and someone named CountryGirl said "Good idea!" I kept doing zany stuff like writing on the wall with chalk and paint and CountryGirl was paying attention all the time. Finally, after I offered her some virtual donuts and milk, we got into a private conversation. We made small talk and she said it was fun chatting with me. I said I'm not that much fun in real life. She said she didn't believe me – I must be the life of the party and a real kick to be around. I said I'm actually very quiet. She gave me some advice about that and then I had to go so I said goodbye. She said "Till next time..." I said "Bloodwynd: *gathers his stuff together and leaves*". CountryGirl is from Casper, Wyoming, USA. She's cool – I like her even better than Kat. She's taken a shine to me. The trouble is, I won't be able to say wacky stuff to her now that I know her well. The other trouble is, the looming end of my internet access. Probably no more than one week left.
Chat 10, in which I am frustrated: December 2nd 1997
This afternoon I got a nasty shock when I found out that my access to Gabbay chat has been blocked. The system administrator [at the university, where chatting is against the rules] has finally cottoned on. As for the other chat-rooms, I can get into some of them but I can't post any messages in 'em. How frustrating. I suppose I should be thankful that this didn't happen earlier, but still – how am I going to get in on Thursday, when CountryGirl is most likely to be there? I'd hate for our relationship to end without me explaining to her. Later I DID find a collection of chat-rooms that I can get into and interact with – the html-based ones on geocities. There's heaps of rooms but they're all pretty much the same – technically inferior to Gabbay. The one I explored was coming apart at the seams. People were mostly speaking French in there anyway.

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