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The following list contains internal links to the sections below:
 
Chat 11, in which I make a pizza: December 4th 1997
Chat 12, in which I receive kisses: December 11th 1997
Chat 13, in which I set up some art equipment: December 18th 1997
Chat 14, in which I change someone's mind: December 31st 1997
Chat 15, in which I sink into the floor: January 7th 1998
Chat 16, in which I define things: January 14th 1998
Chat 17, in which I am ignored: January 21st 1998
Chat 18, in which I search aimlessly: January 9th 1998
Chat 19, in which I have a drink of water: February 4th 1998
Chat 20, in which I lift some weights: February 11th 1998
Chat 21, in which I throw cake: March 10th 1998
Chat 22, in which I wash my hands: March 28th 1998
Chat 23, in which I play with a camera: April 5th 1998
Chat 24, in which I create an art installation: April 14th 1998
Chat 25, in which I do CPR on a cockroach: April 18th 1998
Chat 26, in which I release the animals: April 26th 1998
Chat 27, in which I take off all my clothes: May 2nd 1998
Chat 28, in which I do a copper etching: May 10th 1998
Chat 29, in which I try to string up a tightrope: May 17th 1998
Chat 30, in which I make a pancake: May 24th 1998
Chat 31, in which my leg is broken: May 30th 1998
Chat 32, in which I lay some bricks: June 6th 1998
Chat 33, in which I balance some bricks: June 13 1998
Chat 34, in which I imitate William Tell: June 20th 1998
 
(end of list)
 
 
 
Chat 11, in which I make a pizza: December 4th 1997
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[On December 3rd I discovered that the local branch library has internet access for free, but it's only possible to book one hour at a time.]
 
This was undoubtedly the highlight of my week. The chat, I mean. The library computers are like, ultra hi-res and running Windows 95. I went straight into Gabbay chat. CountryGirl was there – she didn't notice me at first so I posted a few non-verbal messages to do with pizza-making, and she soon played along with some funny responses. But then she had to leave – we didn't get the chance to talk privately. Meanwhile I had got into a conversation with a Canadian woman named Violent Skies, or ViSki for short. We talked about how she hates the sunlight because it sucks out her energy and makes her depressed. Cool! I was just getting into my irrational phone problem when my time ran out – I managed to say goodbye and send a non-verbal departure message before the next guy came along and shooed me off the computer.
 
Chat 12, in which I receive kisses: December 11th 1997
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I went into Gabbay chat, but this time there was a bit of a problem as my usual backdoor didn't work, and nor did my emergency back-up backdoor. So I had to log on as a Guest, and that was lame 'cause nobody knew I was Bloodwynd and none of my friends were there anyway. It seemed that Gabbay had tightened security so that all non-members had to come in without names, and the lobby was rather empty as a result [to become a member, you have to pay]. But after a while I found a female Guest who seemed pretty horny, and she invited me to come into a private room with her. We chatted for a while and she gave me virtual kisses but at that point I had to say goodbye because my time was up. God only knows what it would have developed into otherwise.
    Despite my time being up, no-one chased me off the machine so I stayed around for another half-hour. I found another back-door, one that worked, and I logged on as Bloodwynd. Then I chatted to a woman named Alicia who assumed I was female – the computer was booked for 5:30, and the guy who brought this to my attention was very nice, he said I could have a few extra minutes to say goodbye and all. Isn't it a pity I didn't know I had an extra half-hour's chatting-time? I could've spent it making out with that horny Guest – that would've been a nutty experience. I've never been pulled into a private room before.
 
Chat 13, in which I set up some art equipment: December 18th 1997
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I went to the library and chatted in Club Gabbay today... I did this thing where I set up an easel and painting materials as if I'm going to do a portrait of one of the members, but I never quite get to the painting stage. I met a person named Sunny who does some art, and a person named Guest3350 who seemed very intrigued by what I was doing. When she heard that I was doing a portrait of one of the female members, she said "oooh, how romantic" and I replied "It isn't romantic at all – be quiet!" Towards the end, I threw my water-jar on the chat-room floor, and in the next message I burned the easel, burned the paper, ate the palette, and erased myself from existence. But as I was leaving, I noticed that Guest3350 had posted quite a long message in response to my water-throwing, something about better ways to deal with stress. I couldn't read it in detail, 'cause the next internet surfer was standing over me impatiently. In other words, I had to leave just as it was getting interesting.
 
Chat 14, in which I change someone's mind: December 31st 1997
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I went to Gabbay chat. It was a busy day in the Lobby today and my non-verbal messages were somewhat lost in the flood. No-one stopped to have a private conversation with me. So in the second hour I went to a somewhat quieter chat-room called The Haunted House where I soon found myself in conversation with a 19 year old Nova Scotia female named ~Summer~. She wasn't very articulate, she just asked me a bunch of questions about myself and I answered. When she found out that I don't have any friends she said "So in other words you're a loser." I was somewhat hurt. I said "I'm not a loser. You can't just jump to that conclusion." She asked me a few more questions and by and by she began to realise that I'm not a loser – at least, that's the impression I got from her message "I'm a girl and I know that girls want guys like you. You should open up more." We started to debate the difficulties I have with opening up, but I saw that the library was about to close so I had to leave. I left her with the address of my home page, which she can go to if she's interested. It's nice to have a good long cyberchat with someone on the last day of the year. All I need is a bit of time and a bit of honesty in the chat-room, and I can convince anyone that I'm worthy of respect.
 
Chat 15, in which I sink into the floor: January 7th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
CountryGirl, my favourite, was there. She told me she used to be really wild about 21 years ago, goin' to lots of parties, but now she's settled down. So I said "It's better to be wild and then settle down than never to have been wild at all." And she replied that I had quite a wit about me.
In the Dialogue at l'Hotel chat:
I met a Canadian girl called NoName and we discussed what we like to do in our spare time. But that tiny writing – that long time-delay – that tiny half-window of chat-space – it's a suffocating room.
Back at ClubGabbay, on the Paradise Patio:
Someone named Chairel started chatting with me. Hardly anyone else was there. I thought I was doing quite well, unaware of the fact that she was having a simultaneous conversation with someone named Anonymous. And then she said "No one chat with me except Anonymous, O.K.?" So I sank mysteriously into the floor. And then I left. And then I went home. And that's when the depression started to creep over me.
 
Chat 16, in which I define things: January 14th 1998
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Kat with a K is having problems in Gabbay land. She's got to find a place to live fast, and her parents have turned against her. Somewhere cheap. I asked her friend CrazyKanuk what else she needs besides accommodation – but CrazyKanuk would reply not. Evidently it could sense that I didn't really give a toss about Kat or Kat's welfare.
So then I started giving out dictionary definitions left, right and centre. I wasn't the only weirdo in the place – with GreenEyes singing verses and DivineRight spouting proverbs – they gave me something to define – I don't know if they thought it was cute and interesting or annoying. Even CountryGirl got a serve:
CountryGirl shouts to Sunny: Welcome to the Grand Illusion!
Bloodwyrd says to CountryGirl: Illusion – false impression or belief; state of being deceived by appearances.
CountryGirl says to Bloodwyrd: Umm – thanks! I think!
(our only exchange)
But later I tipped a whole lot of sand into the keyboard. And CrazyKanuk asked me what sort of sand it was. Metamorphic? Igneous? Sedimentary? And I didn't specify what sort of sand it was, but I gave the exact dictionary definition of the three words. CrazyKanuk LAUGHED OUT LOUD at that.
No one cares like I do. How do I care? In a vague, superficial, uncaring way. Everything I say is shallow and pointless. No one wants to chat with me 'cause they know I don't care – underneath the faηade there is nothing – emptiness. No wonder I don't have any friends. I can't even put up a convincing pretence that I care about people, and once they find out how I really am, they don't want to know me anymore.
 

Chat 17, in which I am ignored: January 21st 1998
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Chat room – 60 minutes or less – made a lot of statements – deep – long – separated by dashes – quotes from you.
No one took a blind bit of notice. Messages for Bloodwynd = 0. Has the room changed? Or have I changed? Gotta change back.
Not what people want
Gimme another go – I can get it right
 
Chat 18, in which I search aimlessly: January 9th 1998
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Chat rooms – 1000000s of 'em – In the Dungeon of the Damned I raked through the depths of pretend depression and was lightly rebuked.
In Yahoo chat I claimed that a healthy mind is a lazy mind but couldn't go further and explain why.
LXXVminutes
Bring me back to Club Gabbay
 

Chat 19, in which I have a drink of water: February 4th 1998
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Where else but CLUB GABBAY (I'm back to normal)
Bloodwynd: *takes out an eye-dropper*
Bloodwynd: *fills the eye-dropper from the fountain*
Bloodwynd: *puts a drop of water in his eye*
Tigger nudges Bloodwynd: What are you doing there?
Bloodwynd says to Tigger: Just hydrating myself
Tigger says to Bloodwynd: Oh well, each to his own.
Bloodwynd: *puts a drop of water in his mouth*
Bloodwynd: *empties the rest of the eye-dropper into his mouth*
Bloodwynd: *takes out a glass*
Bloodwynd: *fills the glass with water and raises it to his lips*
Bloodwynd spills his drink on everyone: gulp, gulp, gulp...
Tigger says to Bloodwynd: Hey! Quit spillin' your drink on me!
MatchesMalone says to Bloodwynd: They'll never let you back in the JLA if you keep spilling your drink like that!
Bloodwynd: *sucks spilt water off Tigger apologetically*
Tigger: Ummm... Thanks!?
Bloodwynd: *gazes at fountain thirstily*
Bloodwynd: *sticks his mouth into fountain and starts gulping it down*
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: What might thou be doing, m'lord?
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: Just having a nice refreshing drink.
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: May I join thee?
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: Yea verily thou mayest.
Pandora: *goes over to a nearby fountain and starts drinking the nectar of life*
Bloodwynd: *puts his whole head underwater*
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: Doesn't that get thine hair wet, m'lord?
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: Yes m'lady – it feeleth goode.
Bloodwynd: *comes up for air, panting wetly*
Damaris: *wonders what a wet pant sounds like*
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: So what age art thou?
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: I am 22 years of age. And thee?
Bloodwynd: *rigs up a device which scoops water from the fountain into his mouth very fast*
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: I have been alive 15 years. And what musical styles dost thou find entertaining?
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: I find entertaining such music as alternative rock, jazz fusion, and many other genres.
Bloodwynd: *opens his mouth wide*
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: And what is the meaning of thy name?
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: The name 'Bloodwynd' cometh from a character in the popular comics.
Delta: *shoots a paper plane straight into Bloodwynd's mouth* Heh heh! Bullseye!
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: I am but taking a shot in the dark, m'lord, but is it something to do with a duck?
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: A duck? Nay m'lady, not that I know of.
Bloodwynd says to Delta: glllp *swallows paper plane*
Delta says to Bloodwynd: Hey that's good! Maybe you and me should start an airline!??
Bloodwynd says to Delta: An airline, *splutter* yes.
Delta says to Bloodwynd: Hey, I have a feeling you practised that splutter. It sounded soooo real!
Bloodwynd: *tries to hide his 'Spluttering Instruction Manual'*
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: I am sorry m'lord – my computer is a d!ckwod.
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: That's all right.
Delta says: Hey, what's that you've got there?
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: So describe this character to me.
Bloodwynd whispers to Pandora: The character 'Bloodwynd' is a superhero who can do sorcery but no one knows much about him. His mystery is what defines him.
Bloodwynd says to Delta: This? It's nothing, it's just a... a... *dives into fountain*
Delta says to Bloodwynd: You didn't need to do that – see, I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the person next to you, silly!
Pandora whispers to Bloodwynd: Intriguing. So where are you from?
Bloodwynd: *looks up at Delta embarrassedly through his sopping hair*
Bloodwynd: Must go.
 

Chat 20, in which I lift some weights: February 11th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
Pandora was onto me immediately. First with the tricky medieval chat (while others frolicked in the fountain) then with the serious talk about social problems. She's very solitary like me. (People frighten me) but while I like to lie in the sun she likes to walk in the rain (The cold cannot hurt me while I'm happy) and unlike me she is consumed with hatred towards her high-school persecutors (they're all c---suckers anyway – I have to remember that I'm better than them) and she hates society in general but then again who doesn't.
Fifth started chatting to me while I was still in private session with Pandora, so I didn't try too hard with him, but he sussed out about my ensuing course.
Spunky chatted with me while I was lifting weights and pretending to be one of those big guys that work out – but she only wanted to talk about the Olympics. Later I started pointing a video camera at people, but Damaris threw an egg at me.
CrazyKanuk offered me some food (with juice dripping down his chin) but it tasted bad so I ran out of the room to throw up.
145 minutes – that's got to be a record.
Pandora (or whatever she's calling herself) is the outcast chick – she keeps herself hidden in the shadows and avoids human contact – she gets by, but her bitterness lingers too much and she has a worrying tendency to be jealous of the rich – I don't wanna preach to her.
 
Chat 21, in which I throw cake: March 10th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
Highview says: Somebody talk to me please!
Bloodwynd says to Highview: Is sex dirty? Only when it's done right.
Mighty Power says to Bloodwynd: If you're so interested in Highview maybe you should have cybersex with her.
Highview says to Bloodwynd: Well that depends on the person.
Bloodwynd says to Mighty Power: I'm not really interested I was just making conversation.
Bloodwynd says to Highview: You're right it all depends on individual sexual preference.
Mighty Power says to Bloodwynd: Sorry
Bloodwynd says to Mighty Power: That's okay *gives Mighty Power a piece of cake*
Mighty Power grins at Bloodwynd: What flavour, vanilla or strawberry?
Bloodwynd grins at Mighty Power: chicken flavoured
Mighty Power shouts: RUBBER CHICKEN GUMBO!
Bloodwynd: *throws the rest of the cake on the floor and it bounces*
TODAY I SOLVED THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS
Bloodwynd: *gives everyone a high standard of living and a decent education*
It's been ages since I chatted
 
Chat 22, in which I wash my hands: March 28th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
Bloodwynd: *does a pen and ink drawing*
Bloodwynd: *washes his hands*
Bloodwynd: *washes his hands again*
Bloodwynd: *washes his hands again*
Bloodwynd: *washes his hands again*
And meanwhile I witnessed the mock love-triangle between Enforcer and Spicysalsa and EnforcersGirlfriend – and then EnforcersMother came along to complicated things *L*
 
Chat 23, in which I play with a camera: April 5th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
Bloodwynd: *takes a photo of Damaris*
Bloodwynd: *takes a photo of Leah, with Maggoo in the background, slightly out of focus*
Bloodwynd: *puts on a wide-angle lens*
Damaris: *strikes a pose*
Bloodwynd: Stop that! I want you to look natural!*
Damaris: Oh, okay *goes back to whatever she was doing*
Bloodwynd: *takes a photo of the whole room while standing on a chair*
Joon: *hides from camera*
Bloodwynd: *climbs up on chandelier and takes a photo of Joon from above*
Damaris: You must be very agile
Leah: Hey! Take another photo of me!
Joon: *climbs under table to hide from camera*
Bloodwynd says to Joon: *removes table*
Bloodwynd says to Damaris: yes i am.
Bloodwynd says to Leah: *puts camera right up close to Leah's face and takes photo of her eye, so close up that I can see the tiny capillaries in the corners*
Bloodwyne: enters the Lobby
Bloodwynd says to Bloodwyne: What the hell are you doing, coming in here with a name so like mine
Bloodwyne: Me? I've been associated with Club Gabbay for over two years. I bet you can't say the same. *glares at Bloodwynd*
Bloodwynd says to Bloodwyne: okay then.
Bloodwynd: leaves the lobby
Blo0dwynd: enters the Lobby
Blo0dwynd: *sets up a tripod*
I can't believe it! There's someone else named Bloodwynd – I've been down with Club Gabbay since October 6th and I've never bumped into them. I am no longer unique.
135 minutes deep. The longer you stay, the deeper you get.
 

Chat 24, in which I create an art installation: April 14th 1998
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This is the multimedia installation that I assembled in the Lobby of Club Gabbay this afternoon – I described the assembly process step by step but the Gabbay gang weren't very appreciative of my art. BlueRose asked me:
"What's this fetish you have with dolls?"
while Gibbon just asked
"Why?"
and he continued to ask
"Why?"
of everyone in the chat-room.
 

Chat 25, in which I do CPR on a cockroach: April 18th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
I started killing cockroaches, seeing as how I'm not heartless enough to kill real ones in my flat. Passion_Flow helped me to pull their legs off. Later Aimee started dancing and she encouraged everyone to dance, dance, dance. Passion_Flow showed me a cockroach which was quite good looking, and then the slow-dance began. I said to Passion_Flow, "Hey, gimme that cockroach, I wanna slow dance with it." But she wanted me to dance with HER instead, so she STEPPED on the cockroach. I tried giving it CPR and mouth to mouth, but it was no good. While everyone else danced, I was mourning my loss.
 
Chat 26, in which I release the animals: April 26th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
Bloodwynd: *takes a rat out of his pocket*
Bloodwynd: *puts the rat down on the floor*
Bloodwynd: *puts a ferret on the bar*
Bloodwynd: *puts a shark in the fountain*
Bloodwynd: *feeds some dead kangaroos to the shark*
Bloodwynd: *opens a cage of spiders*
Hanson_Hater says to Bloodwynd: Now that's just sick!
Bloodwynd: *offers a spider to Hanson_Hater as a very special gift*
Hanson_Hater says to Bloodwynd: Er... okay... thanks... *takes spider*
Guest82 says: who wants to dance?
Bloodwynd says to Guest82: my gorilla wants to dance.
Gandalf says: That's some gorilla.
Bloodwynd: *puts a sticker on Gandalf's shoulder which says 'Bloodwynd's gorillas Are The Best.'*
Gandalf: I never learnt to read, but I do like stickers.
Eduardo: No one wants to chat with me – I think I'll kill myself.
Bloodwynd: *gives Eduardo a piranha – trying to help out*
Eduardo: Thanks but I happen to know piranha only attack when you're bleeding, so I have no fear of piranhas – I have some in my house!
Bloodwynd: *pricks Eduardo's arm with a needle – trying to help out*
And then Lynne started throwing her friends into the fountain and I became LynnesDog Woof! Woof! *drinks from the fountain* Arf! GrrRrrrr ARF! ARF! *licks Deacon* whine... *runs away before dog-catcher arrives*
 
Chat 27, in which I take off all my clothes: May 2nd 1998
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Today was my big event – a marathon 150 minute chat-session on the internet comprising many different chat-room, but as usual Club Gabbay was the jewel in the crown – Damaris was there – Joon was there – Passion_Flower was there – even Pandora was there – they were having a virtual court-case where Damaris had been accused of spending too much time in the chat-room – I was providing a distraction by taking my clothes off – they were all telling me to behave, but they loved it, they loved it, they loved it – they pictured me as a stripper – I was causing mischief – I've never been so deeply involved with a situation – it was like ploughing through a mountain of cheesecake.
Club Gabbay is cool
Damaris is the chat-goddess
I'm so funni
 
Chat 28, in which I do a copper etching: May 10th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
I went through the steps of doing a copper etching. The picture was of Joon's hand attached to verdeii's arm and Summer's shoulder. But meanwhile Ozzy was etching a picture of a Ford Mustang into my forehead so I dripped some blood into his eye. Then I etched a picture of a Ford Mustang attached to RESPAWN76's arms. RESPAWN76 was quite pleased and asked if he could have a copy of it.
In the Dungeon Of The Damned:
I entered as steve.
I sat down on the floor.
I scraped the floor with a needle.
I stroked one of deadboy's spiders.
I laid out a row of needles on the floor.
I put a spider into my head.
I closed my eyes.
I picked up the sharpest needle.
I started scratching the underside of the table.
I cried out in pain.
I opened my eyes.
I started throwing ink at the table.
I took out a packet of iron filings.
I collected some of deadboy's drool.
The computer crashed.
(120min.
such a lot of time wasted)
 
Chat 29, in which I try to string up a tightrope: May 17th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
It was a violent session today – all I wanted to do was string up a tightrope across the Lobby and walk along it, but Motherload kept interfering and I got into a fight with him – and Kamikaze187 was burning all my chairs – they were just mucking about – and so was I – but I'd rather have fun with a chick.
 
Chat 30, in which I make a pancake: May 24th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
I made a pancake, going through the steps without actually mentioning the word "pancake". Verdeii and Calixta were paying attention – they couldn't guess what I was making, despite my list of ingredients. Verdeii asked if she could have some, but she went away temporarily and she didn't return until after my time was up.
 
Chat 31, in which my leg is broken: May 30th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
I was trying to get someone to break my leg. Then CrazyBull came along and dropped a piano on it, but the piano missed my leg, partly as a result of Zeromus's interference. Zeromus took over the role of potential leg-breaker, as he turned into a giant eel and bit my leg off. Then he shot me in the other leg, causing major damage. I congratulated him on his fine shooting. I proceeded to clean up the blood and stuff. Have you noticed that I haven't been getting into any private conversations in the chat-room lately? It wasn't always this way.
 
Chat 32, in which I lay some bricks: June 6th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
I arranged the bricks in the lobby, two side by side, and it caught the attention of someone named Cool! who said that my house is very small.
Bloodwynd says to Cool!: Well it's nice and cosy.
He also said that my house is all sealed up.
Bloodwynd says to Cool!: The door goes in later.
Cool! asked me if I like holes in my house, innocently, but I saw that he was holding a machine gun so I said Nooooooo! Meanwhile Kiwi asked me for a brick so I gave her one – but Cool! shot bullets into it. This made Kiwi very upset and she cried hysterically. Cool! offered to console her with some bricks from inside his coat. I gave her a golden brick encrusted with rubies and emeralds. I said to Cool!: "Kiwi likes my brick better than yours", so Cool! pointed his gun at me. I said pull the trigger if you'll be able to live with yourself afterwards. He disappeared.
 
Chat 33, in which I balance some bricks: June 13 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
Bloodwynd: *hopes cool isn't about to start hurling bricks*
Cool!: *notices Bloodwynd's heightened sense of awareness and puts down brick*
Bloodwynd: *balances brick on his nose*
Cool!: *balances two bricks on his nose*
Bloodwynd: *notices bricks are getting wobbly*
Cool!: *balances Buick on his nose*
Bloodwynd: *folds his arms and looks at buick, thinking it must be pretty small to be not touching the ceiling*
Cool! says to Bloodwynd: There is no ceiling.
Bloodwynd says to Cool!: What's the chandelier hanging from then.
Cool!: *balances the universe on his nose*
Bloodwynd says to Cool!: Be careful! You're going to drop that galaxy.
Cool!: *balances his account on his nose*
Bloodwynd: *balances his social-life with his work on his nose*
Cool!: *balances his sex-life with his – er – sex life on his nose*
Gee – it will be so rad when I get my own access at home.
(body hating)
 
Chat 34, in which I imitate William Tell: June 20th 1998
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In Club Gabbay:
(Yes I booked the internet session 'cause I knew there'd be some snag with the home access)
Delta kissed me and then gave me her car keys – I inserted the keys into an apple which I placed on top of Scotty's head – then I took out a bow and arrow and shot the apple – Scotty didn't notice. Cool! was there but he was calling himself Jailbird and bashing his head against the wall – blood was flying everywhere – he was getting all the attention.
(Jailbird that is)

 
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