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Chat 78, in which I scamper around like a playful dog: March 6th 1999
I transcribed the whole chat onto paper - not really the whole chat, just the parts relevant to Starryeyes and Terreis - and only the interesting parts - it took 3 A4 pages, even though I was selective and used appropriate abbreviations - and then I typed it.
Calmness = Stephen
[things in square brackets = post-transcription comments by me, some of which is speculations about what people meant.]
starryeyes says: :(
airport says: why so unhappy, starry?
terreis says: *glares at airport*
airport says: *glares right back at Terreis*
starryeyes says: I am just disgusted with racist people [part of a discussion about racism]
sal says: *glares at terreis glaring at airport*
speak no evil says: *glares at sal glaring at terreis glaring at airport*
airport says: There are racists in this room? (aghast at the thought!)
calmness says: Let's all glare at eachother *glares*
starryeyes says: too much glaring here
sal says: who's racist airport?
speak no evil says: Nobody glare at airport!
starryeyes says: lol
sal says: *gives starryeyes a pair of sunnies for the glare*
terreis says: airport, I caught word that you were rude to some friends of mine – is there any truth to that?
airport says: Now speak is speaking for me *lol*
starryeyes says: :o)@sal
sal: terreis... yes he was I can vouch for that
speak no evil: that's right airport *grin*

airport says: Terreis, if I was rude then I apologize
starryeyes says: group hug!
airport says: (except if I was rude to sal)
sal says: lol @ airport and terreis
starryeyes says: :)
terreis says: *thinks quietly to herself* alright... [hesitantly half-forgiving]
Z de Zastre says: AIRPORT LEAVE HER ALONE!
airport says: Z, leave whom alone... and not on yet another winters eve? [uncertain meaning]
Z de Zastre says: Terreis is my AIRCRAFT [jealous]
terreis says: *launches a popcorn ball at airport*
terreis says: heads up [airport totally ignores her]
calmness says: *picks up popcorn ball*
calmness says: *nibbles*
terreis says: oh, that does it!!
airport says: (grins at terreis) [airport is deliberately provoking terreis]
speak no evil says: *grins at airport*
terreis says: *launches a snowball at airport*
calmness says: *bares his teeth*
[they're bonding together against terreis - uncertain what he meant by 'get it']
airport says: speak... oh. (winks) I get it *winks at speak*
starryeyes says: snowball?
terreis says: missed... man
terreis says: my aim is slipping [accepting defeat]
calmness says: *picks up snowball*
speak no evil says: lol... you're slow today airport
airport says: lol@terreis [still thinks it's funny]
speak no evil says: must be the weekend thing... lol
calmness says: *drinks it*
terreis says: *resolves to settle herself in a chair in the corner* [hurt and angry]
calmness says: get off my chair terreis [inappropriate]
terreis says: calm... not now [she's irritated but trying not to take out her anger on me - knows I don't mean to be rude]
terreis says: *points her finger and calm's chair appears*
terreis says: help yourself [minimizing disappointment/hurt]
calmness says: *takes chair into the cupboard*
calmness says: *sits* [backing off]
speak no evil says: your chair's in the cupboard?
calmness says: yes speak that's right
terreis says: *irritated* [uncertain who she's irritated at]
calmness says: *drills hole in cupboard door*
calmness says: *looks thru it*
terreis says: give me one good reason why I should stay [considering leaving]
starryeyes says: 'cause we don't want you to leave, terr
starryeyes says: everybody is leaving :(
terreis says: *looks at clock*
terreis says: tick tock the clock
calmness says: *shoots clock with gun* [discouraging leaving]
starryeyes says: lmao@calmness
terreis says: *shoots her comp with calm's gun*
calmness says: hey! my gun is just for me
terreis says: *thinks she's all of five minutes from ordering a hunt* [hunt who]
terreis says: we'll see...
calmness says: *awaits orders* [like a soldier, with gun, hidden]
calmness says: *squints at the room from the darkness of his cupboard, only his eye visible*
starryeyes says: hey all you quiet people – speak up!
calmness says: *takes a swig of whisky*
terreis says: *growls* [uncertain whether she's angry at airport or her computer]
terreis says: If I have to take this one more time, I'll – I'll –
calmness says: *drops the whisky with shaking hands* [scared of growl]
terreis says: brb, promise
willow says: whisky's bad [this was the beginning of a whole big discussion about alcohol and drugs]
willow says: it's grose
calmness says: will – it gets the job done
terreis says: okay... the deed is done [hunt reference]
calmness says: kill someone, terreis?
terreis says: I gave the word, and can't go back on it now... kill? Kill? *laughs hysterically* Nah... [then what did she do?]
calmness says: oh that's a pity
terreis says: calmness? may I ask you something?
calmness says: yes terreis?
terreis says: do you think I'm quick tempered? You've known me for awhile...
psycho says: YES... GOD YES... YOU ARE QUICK TEMPERED TERREIS!!! [wrong answer]
terreis says: *sweetly* psycho... didn't ask ya, but thanks
calmness says: terreis – I can't really tell – you seem pretty friendly mostly – sometimes you attack people but it usually seems like you're joking... [right answer]
psycho says: sweetly... yeah right you know you wanna smack me
terreis says: thankyou calm... I appreciate that... more than you can realise
calmness says: *shrinks* [maintaining a low profile, not wanting to harm delicate good vibe]
ruby says: it's very disturbing in paris café right now
terreis says: *twilight zone theme plays thru her head*
calmness says: disturbing, ruby?
ruby says: yeah, too many 'cutie!'s and 'kisses!' in there
calmness says: *takes finger off the switch rooms button*
ruby says: good idea calmness
calmness says: *pushes cupboard door*
calmness says: *pushes cupboard door* [imagining myself 1 inch high]
calmness says: *takes a step*
lydia says: *but the cupboard was bare*
calmness says: *falls on his face*
starryeyes says: *blinks repeatedly and sips coffee*
calmness says: *just lies there*
starryeyes says: *helps calm up* [finally caught her attention]
calmness says: *groans*
salem says: calm, are you breathing?
starryeyes says: lol
calmness says: salem – do you think I should
starryeyes says: poor calmness
salem says: sure, if you want to
calmness says: starry – don't worry about me
starryeyes says: ZzZzZz k calm
calmness says: *considers breathing pros and cons*
salem says: what are the cons?
terreis says: *channels her anger while playing with a fireball*
calmness says: salem – well it takes a lot of chest muscle effort [laziness]
salem says: well, have you decided if it is worth it?
starryeyes says: catches some ZzZzZzs while calm considers
calmness says: salem – no I'll need a few hours of thinking space
starryeyes says: *cries* [why?]
salem says: ok calm then I'm outta here
terreis says: starry, what's wrong?
calmness says: starryeyes, drip some tears on me, I'm thirsty
starryeyes says: bye salem miss ya
calmness says: bye salem
starryeyes says: calm, go look in the cuboard [why?]
calmness says: *turns his head slightly to look at cupboard*
starryeyes says: lol
terreis says: starry, what's wrong! [overly concerned with starry's fleeting sadness]
starryeyes says: go for it calm
calmness says: it looks the same as ever
starryeyes says: terreis, calm thinks too much
terreis says: ahh, that he does sometimes, I think
terreis says: hehehe – just saw the double irony
calmness says: *stands up*
starryeyes says: other times he falls out of the cuboard, terreis
terreis says: hehehe, starry, it happens to the best of us
starryeyes says: *congratulates calm on standing up*
calmness says: *starts walking over to the cupboard – gets there five minutes later*
starryeyes says: oh no!! calm's gonna jump!! [? Why]
calmness says: don't worry starry – I don't have the energy in my legs to jump
starryeyes says: thank goodness :)
calmness says: *stumbles*
terreis says: starry, calmness always bounces back, sort of. I wouldn't worry too much
starryeyes says: bounces hehehe
calmness says: *sticks an ice-pick into the wood panelling*
starryeyes says: hey calm, what's the ice-pick for?
calmness says: starry – to climb the sheer icy surface of the cupboard
calmness says: *climbs*
starryeyes says: not again
calmness says: *arrives at the top*
starryeyes says: Don't jump, calm!
calmness says: you're putting ideas in my head starry
calmness says: *looks down from the towering heights*
starryeyes says: calm, repeat after me; I will not jump
calmness says: starry – I will not hump.. I will not hump
terreis says: cute... calm... cute [not necessarily amused]
starryeyes says: not appropriate [doesn't want to go there]
starryeyes says: calm
calmness says: thankyou starry – you've really helped me
starryeyes says: *screams*
calmness says: *jumps*
starryeyes says: *faints*
calmness says: *falling* Are you okay starry?
starryeyes says: fine, just looking at the puddle that is calmness [thought someone else asked the question]
terreis says: *still can't get over that* [maybe something else]
gentle warrior says: HOW CAN CALM JUMP! HE'S CATATONIC!
starryeyes says: lol gentle
calmness says: gentle – starry made me jump when she screamed – what a shock
terreis says: a mystery to me
starryeyes says: sorry calm
starryeyes says: is calm alive *pokes calm with a stick*
calmness says: *twitches*
lassie says: hey starryeyes. throw the stick and I will fetch
starryeyes says: lol Lassie *throws stick*
terreis says: it's beginning to look a lot like... trouble. [perhaps irrelevant]
starryeyes says: *sighs at calm puddle*
calmness says: hey lassie drool on me [needing revitalizing body fluids]
lassie says: how about a wet stick???
starryeyes says: calm, lassie has better taste than that!
calmness says: lassie – wet sticks are always welcome
lassie says: *drops stick on calm* woof!
calmness says: aaaaaah that's better
starryeyes says: lol@lassie          good girl
calmness says: I could use this stick as a spine, you know
starryeyes says: ?????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????
calmness says: *starts building himself up around the stick*
lassie says: is calm spineless
starryeyes says: :( I want a pretty flower [off on a tangent]
calmness says: lassie – my old spine was no good
starryeyes says: lassie, fetch calm a wet spine
Kimera says: hi all!
lassie says: starry that is gross, well O.K.
starryeyes says: good girl
calmness says: try wet spines 'R' us
starryeyes says: lol
starryeyes says: brb
lassie says: I'm off to see a wizard about a wet spine
calmness says: *clicks leg-bones into half-built body*
starryeyes says: back
calmness says: right arrow rebuilt
calmness says: *takes a rest*
calmness says: *puts his head on a soft feathery quilt*
starryeyes says: *misses calmness and cuboard*
calmness says: but we're both still here, starry
starryeyes says: but where is the cuboard
calmness says: *points at cupboard*
starryeyes says: *finds glasses & smiles at cuboard*
terreis says: calm – need some soothing music here, got any?
calmness says: go to sleep... go to sleep...
starryeyes says: ZzZzZzZzZzZz [wrong person reacts]
calmness says: starry – you have an unnatural attachment to the cupboard
terreis says: hmmm
starryeyes says: I like cuboards
calmness says: *gives starry a cupboard catalog*
starryeyes says: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz *smiles at dream of cuboard catalog*
calmness says: starry – you ought to learn to spell it properly though, seeing as how you're a cupboard expert
starryeyes says: *drifts through dream of calm jumping off cupboard*
starryeyes says: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
starryeyes says: I hate scary dreams
calmness says: starry you want me to really
starryeyes says: no, I just want to thumb through my cupboard catalog
calmness says: starry – you're checking out potential jumping points
starryeyes says: no I hate the tops of cupboards
calmness says: starry – a cupboard is useless without the top
starryeyes says: put it up to the ceiling
calmness says: starry – that's a devious plan
starryeyes says: push the cupboard up close to the ceiling and lock it.
starryeyes says: or take up dryer jumping
calmness says: starry – wouldn't it fall down
starryeyes says: I don't know [runs out of clever responses]
calmness says: *jumps off a dryer* nope doesn't have the same thrill
starryeyes says: lol
starryeyes says: calm, what about crochet
calmness says: starry – there's something to be said for crochet
calmness says: starry – the needles are good for self defense
starryeyes says: not on me
kimera says: I tried crochet once, that little hook thing got caught in my eye socket [wanting to participate]
starryeyes says: cool
kimera says: it was a violent pattern
calmness says: kimera – was that fun?
kimera says: sure, it was great once I got my eye back in
calmness says: *closes his eyes*
starryeyes says: calm, how about crocheting kim's eye socket?
kimera says: I wouldn't appreciate that much
calmness says: starry – only if she pays me for the service
starryeyes says: oh come on kim, calm needs a hobby
kimera says: can't she take up self mutilation or something less detrimental to my health?? [she?]
starryeyes says: and a job.
calmness says: starry – mind the language [the word 'job']
starryeyes says: muerte? [unclear whether she understands]
calmness says: *looks for spanish dictionary*
freeway says: muerte=dead
calmness says: oh, dead
starryeyes says: dozes off
starryeyes says: *is rock asleep*
calmness says: *shakes starry by the shoulder*
calmness says: *picks up cupboard*
calmness says: *moves cupboard over starry*
starryeyes says: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz
calmness says: *feels his grip loosening*
starryeyes says: *wakes up and kicks calm*
calmness says: *falls down, cupboard and all*
starryeyes says: *catches cupboard*
starryeyes says: *and calm*
starryeyes says: *dozes off once again*
calmness says: starry you must be strong
starryeyes says: qazwsxedcrfvtgbyhn!@#$%^&*()
starryeyes says: sorry, fell asleep on my keyboard
calmness says: awake now, starry?
starryeyes says: *eyelids droop*
calmness says: *yells in starry's ear*
starryeyes says: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
starryeyes says: !@#$%^&*!! I was having a great dream!!
calmness says: right arrow deaf
starryeyes says: right arrow tumbles over and gets knocked unconscious*
calmness says: *picks up cupboard*
calmness says: *drops cupboard on starry, making her completely flat*
kimera says: starry is now travel sized
starryeyes says: (((:op)~|~<
calmness says: oh no I got a splinter
starryeyes says: *slowly rises as the yeast from lunch kicks in*
calmness says: *feels sorry for self* [splinter]
starryeyes says: *grabs calm's neck*
calmness says: starry – hey *chokes* you should be thanking me
starryeyes says: and why is that? *squeezes tighter*
calmness says: starry – because now you look nicer and thinner
starryeyes says: *pops off calm's head*
calmness says: oh yay! [masochist]
athenos says: now, none of that starry!
starryeyes says: *throws head in the cupboard*
calmness says: *grows cute little legs out of neck*
calmness says: *scampers out of cupboard*
starryeyes says: *grabs head and pulls off legs* [uncompromising]
starryeyes says: *warms up the oven*
calmness says: *bites starry's nose*
starryeyes says: *runs around frantically and grabs a crobar*
calmness says: *holds on*
starryeyes says: *pries off calm and watches nose fly across the room* [with head?]
calmness says: *grows wings*
calmness says: *flies a bit more*
starryeyes says: where's lassie when you need her?
starryeyes says: sits on calm
starryeyes says: *squishes calm*
calmness: *uses last ounce of strength to bit starry's butt*
starryeyes says: *throws calm in oven* muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! [sent before bite]
calmness says: BITE
starryeyes says: there goes my butt [as if my mouth was that big]
calmness says: *jumps up and down* [not so calm now]
athenos says: so much violence... so much energy directed the WRONG WAY [reflective]
calmness says: *eats oven igniter*
starryeyes says: *sits on floor and cries*
terreis says: starry, what's wrong... [AGAIN]
starryeyes says: calm took off my nose and my butt
calmness says: starry – YOU're crying?
calmness says: I'm just a head
starryeyes says: haha [sarcastic?]
starryeyes says: *buttless*
(there was more – but I couldn't be bothered transcribing it)
[I offered my own butt to starryeyes - she refused - then she died - I tried to drag her away but she was too fat - she slapped me - I started embalming - she got disconnected - I announced that I was leaving - she came back and explained her sudden departure - I said "oh well" and left anyway.]

 
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