Journey by Stephen Clark  
    to Ridgetown

From outside you hear the sounds of combat and gunfire. After a few minutes a couple of men come into the room -- they are not dressed in army uniform. One of them says, "Look! There's a pig tied to that rack! Let's kill it."
    But the other one says, "Wait! It looks like a prisoner. It could be one of our own comrades. Hey, you! Are you one of us?"
    Fearing for your life, you say, "Yes."
    The man starts slicing through your ropes. "Well, then, I'll set you free and you can join us in fighting. Come on!"
    The two men set you free and you stagger out of the room. Outside, bullets are flying everywhere and the terrorists are fighting the soldiers. Normally you're not a violent person by nature, but after your recent traumatic experience you are gripped with an insatiable urge to get revenge on those army guys who tortured you. You pick up a gun from the body of a fallen man and start shooting every soldier in sight. Even the terrorists are impressed -- you're going at it like a crazed killing machine.
    Finally the battle is over and the terrorists have won. The leader of the terrorists comes up to you and says, "Well, I don't know who you are, but you've helped us win our battle here and this is the first step in our plan to take over the entire city, possibly the country. How can we ever repay you?"
Say "I'd like a refund for my TAFE fees."
Just shoot him