Journey by Stephen Clark  
    to Ridgetown

The guards shrink back in fear. You leave the palace slowly, with your hand outstretched, ready to shake the hand of anyone who dares to stop you.
    Outside, a palace sentry creeps up behind you and tries to apprehend you, but you shake his hand and he falls down in pain. After that it seems everyone is afraid of you. You walk through the city streets and all the aliens are looking at you with a mixture of hatred and fear.
    You make your way down to the space-port and say "I'm going back to earth! Let me on a ship headed for earth or I'll start shaking hands left right and centre!"
    The scared space-port employees point you in the right direction. You get on an earth-bound ship and soon you are taken back to earth. The spaceship lands just near Ridgetown college of TAFE.
    As you are disembarking, the pilot pokes his head out of the hatchway and yells very loudly, "This isn't over yet! We'll get you for this! We'll get revenge on you and this whole planet! You're finished, you hear me? You're gone!" Then he closes the hatchway and takes off.
    You walk into Ridgtown college of TAFE and say "Excuse me, I'd like to cancel my enrolment and get a fee refund please."
    But the receptionist says, "I heard what that alien said -- you've incurred the wrath of a whole planet and put us all in danger. You don't deserve a fee refund."
    So you walk away.
The End