Journey by Stephen Clark  
    to Ridgetown

 
 
You and the king go on to discuss to science and art and music, but he seems very uncomfortable and every now and then he has a little spasm. Finally you ask him, "What seems to be the problem, your majesty?"
    He replies, "Oh, it's nothing, really -- I just have a bad case of the hiccups. I've been suffering from it for several years now -- it makes my life quite a misery."
    You say, "Oh. Do you know what I do when I have the hiccups? I drink a glass of water backwards. From the opposite side of the cup, I mean."
    The king says, "Well, I've never heard of that remedy."
    He decides to give it a try. It cures his hiccups. The king says, "Oh joy! My hiccups have gone! I will spread the word about this amazing hiccups cure throughout the world -- no-one need ever suffer from this terrible affliction ever again. And it's all thanks to you. We are all truly indebted to you. What do you want as repayment? Just say the word and it shall be yours!"
 
Say, "I'd like to be king in your place."
Say, "I'd like to cancel my enrolment and get a fee refund."