Journey by Stephen Clark  
    to Ridgetown

Bob says, "Oh, no, it won't. Just step right up here on the stage and grab this accordian."
    You do what he says.
    The musicians look at you expectantly. "Well go on, play!", says someone.
    You say, "But I don't know how to play the accordian!"
    And Bob says, "Just play the friggin' thing -- we want you to know how it feels."
     So you start squeezing and pressing the accordian any old how. The result is a series of jarring discords. The audience immediately starts booing and hissing and throwing beer cans at you. This is going terribly -- you feel so humiliated. What a tough crowd. But maybe you're just playing it wrong.
Try playing a different tune
Throw down the accordian in disgust