the thing in the corner East Brighton  
part of stephen's rock pillow  

The design for this particular page was ripped off from a big commercial site, so as to demonstrate my contempt for copyright laws. I won't tell you the address of the site -- it's changed its design now anyway so don't bother looking for it

December 13th, 1999:
I woke up at 3a.m. 'cause someone had left a perfectly good mirror downstairs for hard rubbish collection and I wanted to carry it back to my room in the dead of night. But someone had already nabbed it so I was too late. After that I couldn't get back to sleep so I picked up my "Memoirs of a Geisha" book (by Arthur Golden) and read it for hours and hours. This book is about a young girl in Japan in the 30s who was taken away from her family without consent and without warning, and sold to a place where she was forced to work for no pay as a maid, and then progressively over time she was trained to be a geisha -- she was totally trapped in this place and everyone treated her with cruelty and disrespect -- she was beaten if she got out of line, sometimes quite unfairly. Presumably, as the book goes on she is treated with more respect as she becomes a successful geisha. But as always I was imagining what *I* would do in such a situation. It's against my principles to work, especially as a slave -- I'd rather take the beatings and the abuse until they finally get tired of me and give up on me and throw me out on the streets of Kyoto to fend for myself. I would only cause trouble for the geisha -- I'd take that geisha make-up and write my name on the wall with it -- "ParaDust" -- I can just imagine myself threatening the most senior inhabitant with any sharp object which comes to hand, as revenge for a beating -- it's a dangerous world but when I have nothing to lose, no-one can force me to submit -- no one can make me do something I don't want to do, even when the alternative is death. And death is certainly what would happen to me if I were sent out onto the streets of Kyoto without any money. But then, starvation has always been a dream of mine. This book is brilliant and addictive -- I'm getting through it much faster than I do most books.
    Later today, when I was taking a nap, I woke up and I was unsure of my surroundings -- I was thinking, in my dazed state, that I was on the edge of some great danger -- that I had fallen asleep on the job or something, and that I would soon be beaten. But the feeling passed and I remembered that my life is an idyllic paradise.


Putting your head on that rock was a very good move, by the way -- you're getting the hang of this.

The park bench is a similar resting place for people like you who don't have a bed --

It's very uncomfortable -- perhaps even more uncomfortable than the rocks you fell asleep on -- the hard surfaces have left you with aches and pains up and down your body. I'm surprised you can even move.

Someone is walking their dog next to the lake. And nearby there are two families with young children -- the mothers are talking to eachother, no doubt discussing child-rearing tactics. You don't have a family, so no one cares for you.

I can 
be ordinary. I can do whatever ordinary good people do, and avoid whatever ordinary 
good people avoid. My special abilities will develop in harmony only if my foremost 
aim is to be a good ordinary human
No, you're not dead -- you're in Landcox Park in East Brighton. How did you get here? Don't remember. Either someone moved you very carefully during the night, or you've had a lapse of memory. But this is one of the most beautiful parks in Melbourne -- it features a lake with ducks and fountains, wide expanses of green grass, an abundance of play equipment, and several park benches, one of which you are now lying on.



I used to come here often -- it's a nice place in the daytime, just to hang out in, but I also used to come here at night when there's no one around. I liked the feeling that I had the place all to myself; it's surrounded by quiet suburban houses on almost every side, in a small oasis that can't be seen from the main roads. I used to come here when I needed to escape from the noise and madness of the share-house that I lived in. If you want to gain a full understanding of that, you could go visit my old house. After all, you need a place to stay, and you don't feel like sleeping on a park bench again.
What are you

is not far away -- if you want, you could catch a train to Swinburne University of Technology which is my place of study. It's only five stations away.

What are you searching for?

"Do you want me to put my head in a moose?"

searching for?