No one finds you.

Your life ends.

Soon after your death, someone finds your
cold, emaciated, lifeless body
under the stairs. No one knows
who you are or why you decided to
starve to death there. It's not
important. It doesn't matter.
 
 
 
 

dead You have scored 100 points out of a possible 100. And that means you win. Death by starvation was your goal, and you achieved it. Now let's see what you have won.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
smoke detector
 
 
 
This is a smoke detector. 
 
 
 
It's a prosaic, emotionless electronic device. 
 
 
 
But it can save your life if there's a fire. 
 
 
 
In the instruction manual it says: 
 
 
 
"This SMOKE DETECTOR will guard your LIFE and the
lives of your FAMILY -- replace the battery regularly."
 
 
 
 
A smoke detector is a symbol of
caring, and value for life. 
 
 
 
But if you look closely at this
smoke detector, take off the
cover and shine a light into its
inner workings, you'll see that it
doesn't have a battery. 
 
 
 
A smoke detector without a battery
is a symbol of apathy
and lack of value for human life. 
 
 
 
This is me. 
 
 
 
 
You have found your way into a part of the web-site which I don't want many people to see -- this is where I share some deeply personal stuff with you, stuff that I wouldn't tell people in real life. This stuff may cause you to cringe and feel uncomortable -- you may wish to back out now instead of following these links. But these are parts of me.
 
 
 
Don't expect me to express any strong opinions in here -- apathy is the dominant part of my personality. I don't care about anything except my own happiness.
Click here to read about my abnormal attitude to death.
 
 
I'm a special person. That's supposed to be a good thing. I don't know why people think of specialness as a good thing -- if one is exceptional, peculiar, unusual, outstanding, then surely one loses a sense of belonging with society -- one feels like an outcast. That's not true in every case -- after all, everyone is special in their own way, but I'm special in a bad way. I have some attributes that most people would think of as 'wrong'.
Click here to read about my feelings, or lack of feelings, about love.
 
 

 
 
Now, something a bit less indsidious, but something I'm very reluctant to share notwithstanding -- click here to read my page about masturbation, if you want to hear about that side of me, which you probably DON'T. And click here to read a sexual fantasy that I wrote in early 1996. I don't usually write about that stuff, or even think about it, but this was the exception to the rule.

Warning: the above two pages are not suitable for children. There aren't any pictures in them though.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
If you're reading this page then please sign the guestbook and let me know that you scored a hundred. Or, if you've already signed it and you don't want to sign it again, at least send me an email, saying "I found the secret page" at minimum.
 
 
Here's a list of pages in this website, in case you missed anything:
 
 
Intro Page
Acland Street
Cake ending
Luna Park page
Beach page
Short story about Wally
The Rocks page
My Place page
Sleep ending
Mail page
If everyone were like me
Audio CD page
The Paradise Motel
Paradise Motel diary snippets
East Brighton page
Noise ending
Swinburne page
Call The Locksmith
Stephen's Tora Tale
Visual Arts ending
Information Technology
Client Interaction Journal
Formal Report
Design Page
Please let me into your course
Above the photocopy-room page
The Empty Wasteland ending
Revolver page
The Bouncer Turned Me Away
The City page
Descent Part 1
Descent Part 2
Descent Part 3
Descent Part 4
Therapy page
The Apple ending
Tent City Diary Excerpt
North End
Larundel page
Laziness Experiment
Larundel Diary 1
Larundel Diary 2
Larundel Diary 3
Larundel Diary 4
Larundel Diary 5
Larundel Diary 6
You Thought It Was About Tobacco
Incident Report Forms
Parents Ending
Austin Hospital page
Recovery Ending
This page
Death page
Love page
Masturbation page
Sexual Fantasy page
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